The Birth of Fletcher
7th June 2019
10lb 12oz I 4880g

 

My fourth pregnancy was equal parts challenging and beautiful. We consciously conceived our little babe and he came through to us on his own terms. We planned another homebirth through the midwifery group practice and had the support of a midwife who was well known for being unconventional, and happy to push the boundaries within reason. Our guess date was Thursday 30th May.

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I knew I was carrying another big baby, it's just the way my body grows them, big, and healthy and robust. Around 37 weeks pregnant I noticed some changes in baby's movements and while I wasn't overly concerned I contacted my midwife and we met at the birth centre to monitor bub for awhile and make sure they were well and happy, and they were. I honestly think now, he was just getting comfy and running out of room. I had an ultrasound the following week just to make sure the  blood flow through the cord was okay. Everything was fine and they confirmed that he was big which I already suspected.

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Unfortunately, at 40+1 I got a call from my midwife, a number of things contributed however ultimately she felt it would be unsafe for us to birth at home and instead insisted that we birth in the birth centre and that nothing would change about our plans to birth in the water, and our other wishes, just the location. This completely tore me apart, cracked me wide open and I spent the next week in emotional and mental turmoil, it was one of the toughest weeks of my life. 

 

I arrived at 41 weeks and was struggling with the emotional toll of the week and really felt like it was having an impact on my physical body and delaying babes arrival, despite have some baths, doing some visualization and talking with baby about our upcoming journey and how our birth would happen and that we would both be safe. I was also booked to have my waters broken the following morning and I was feeling the pressure and unease surrounding this and had come to the decision to put it off for a few days as I really wanted to go into labour myself.

I booked a last minute induction acupuncture session and really enjoyed that hour to myself, I talked to baby again and reassured them it was safe for them to come and then I promptly fell asleep before being gently woken a little while later by my therapist. I was so tired with very little sleep all week. I think the session was just what I needed.

I went to bed early that evening but didn’t get to sleep until about 10pm. My husbands CFS pager went off  at 12:40am with a rubbish fire call out which woke me and soon after I had 3 quite strong braxton hicks. Then I had a couple more which were really uncomfortable and I struggled to lay down through them and I needed the bathroom so I got up. The light surges continued and I couldn't get comfortable with our co sleeping toddler in the bed so I got up and decided they felt different enough to start timing so at 1:17am I started timing them on a contraction app timer. They were coming anywhere from 2-8 minutes apart and varying in intensity so I woke my husband and gave him the heads up and said that I’d wake him again when I needed him or I felt like we should go into the birth centre.

 

I pottered around the house in dim light and finished packing everything we needed and just spent some time alone in the semi darkness breathing through the surges. 

I sent a text to my mum at 2:30am to let her know things were happening as she was coming over to be with our other kids and then I woke hubby and we started getting organised to head in. I called the on call midwife at 2:45am and let her know we would be in within the hour. I didn’t want to leave it too late as our 3 year olds labour was very similar and she was born within 5 hours of surges starting. I also wanted the opportunity to get settled in our room before things got too intense.

We left home about 3:15am, and I called our birth photographer on the way. The surges were becoming more intense but still around the same timing. They slowed a little in the car and when we arrived in our room they slowed even more, I had a couple of 16-17 minutes breaks. It all felt so odd and I wasn’t sure what was going on, I couldn’t read my body or what was happening. Our midwife wasn’t on until later in the morning so we had a different midwife (she knew our story though and had been kept informed by our midwife in case she was on when I came in) and after being told I was allowed to labour in birth in the water, once we got there that changed and no one was okay about it. I think this is what slowed my surges and delayed everything again. It was so frustrating to have everything we wanted taken away from us.

We found out our midwife was coming in at 8am to be with us, and I think my body was waiting for her. I got in the shower at 7:20am and actually really enjoyed it and found it a relaxing alternative. I alternated between sitting on a yoga ball and kneeling leaning over it.

Things really started picking up around 8:30am but surges were still spaced out and manageable although becoming more intense. Around 9:15am things had escalated quite quickly and I had one really intense surge that almost felt “pushy” towards the end. I was still in the shower and wasn’t moving. My waters hadn’t broken and I was feeling intense pressure during surges and urging them to break to release the pressure.

I’m not sure about timing from here on in but my midwife suggested trying a couple of surges sitting on the toilet if I could cope as the pressure may break my waters. I had a couple of (unbearably intense) surges on the toilet and was beginning to push through them. At this point a couple of obstetricians came in to chat with me as there had been discussions about us needing to move rooms into one of the labour and delivery rooms so they had access to a better bed of things did go pear shaped. (I was not keen on moving at all!!!) They only had time to introduce themselves as things continued to happen super quickly. The amniotic sac actually emerged first in a big bubble and when I reached in to check I could feel head not far behind. The pressure was so intense and uncomfortable and I wasn’t coping well at all. I asked my midwife to break the bubble of waters as I thought this would release the pressure which is silly because the head was right there!!

After she cut the sac to break it (we both tried with our hands but it was super strong!), they wanted to move me to the bed, on my knees with one leg up so I was in a really good position for baby to emerge. Moving from the toilet to the bed was HARD! We got there though and from then on everything happened in fast forward. I felt out of control and was still wishing I was in the bath, not really coping with the pushing stage at all, it was so incredibly intense and painful, birthing the head was epic. My poor husband got bitten on his hand/arm a couple of times and and despite feeling out of control, my midwife said I was incredibly controlled in terms of pushing/breathing the head out. It felt like forever but 2nd stage was only 15 minutes total, it always feels like so much longer at the time!! The anterior shoulder did need a little wiggling but no crazy manoeuvres were required and I birthed our baby with a big roar at 10:07am.

I had a little gush of blood as he was handed through my legs to me (which I now recognise was a seperation bleed from the placenta coming away almost immediately however, despite wanting a physiological 3rd stage, and still not being present enough in my body to refuse, I consented to the syntocin (there’s a first first for everything, I’ve never had it before) and birthed his massive placenta within minutes. 

We spent the day resting and feeding (he was attached to the breast all day except to drive home!), both of us naked skin to skin. We left the hospital at 4:30pm that same day and went home to our other kids. 

It was not at all the birth I imagined, there are many things I wished I had done differently.